Romans 8:28

 Looking back on my 45 years, I cannot complain, for His ends shall justify the means in our lives, for God Almighty is good and perfect in the most amazing ways. He is neither confusion or coincidence - but providence and deep purpose. The narrow road ahead is wrought with tribulation and daily I pray, Lord may I be worthy of your discipline.  There was a day I blamed everyone and anything for everything gone wrong deep in this life and heart of mine, in order to distance myself from the shame and guilt I generously seeded - this did not alter where the blame rested; the road to my redemption was paved with bricks of humility in valleys of much sorrow. My road seemed at times uphill both ways and crooked - and there is still variance in these steps when I walk out of line from His perfect will in my life. Learning to be still and know He is GOD is the patience of the saints.

  To walk with our Lord as He wills is a life long journey in moment by moment transformations of wondering without fear where we are going, and trusting that path was laid by the only One who walked this world aright and perfectly so. His conformity in our lives requires trust and humility, as clay meets the Potter and our mission is His commission for our life.  There is a truth about The Truth: we will never stop learning to walk or grow or think or do anything until life becomes a complete and unrestrained surrender and abandon of our flesh. I am so thankful that the truth also sets us free from ourselves, for who I thought I was is not who I am today. The reversal of our bad into His good - to witness this happen in my life and others compels one to a deep sense of servitude and thankfulness beyond words.  In this life I can assure you, in the mirror I've often seen my own worst enemy staring coldly back at me on days where I was also, my only friend.The beautiful reflection of Jesus Christ in the lives of the repentant hearers and doers of His Word - I believe there is nothing more completely beautiful than Christ within the once lost sinner. His perfect love is the antidote for every moment we hated ourselves and loved this world and our flesh. That He first loved us even though He knew us shows us that His nature and attributes far exceed our ability to understand Him. He made value of the days I was truly unworthy and ignorant and sinful. There are those who were bad to the core who today, are the apple of His eye. 

  There are times, I will go ahead and say this - I am almost ashamed to ask Him for forgiveness and restoration, especially in things that I have failed at before. Lately I have experienced grieving the Holy Spirit has brought absolute agony upon myself. In this I have found the roots of wisdom in truly fearing the Lord. When I say this, I am speaking of the kind of fear that follows me as a tutor and reminder unto His right ways of Holy living. His discipline and reproof is so loving and perfect, and yet, it can physically and spiritually be so agonizing to me that to sit here and think of it makes me uncomfortable. The demand for holiness and purity have continually grown more resound and definite, and His brotherhood more defined and refined with those who know the Shepherd's voice. In my deepest parts I feel, He is coming for His bride sooner than we reckon.

 Romans 8:28-31

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.  For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestine to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.  Moreover whom he did predestine, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.  What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?


In Christ Jesus we are made to be conformed. We are presented as clay - we are formed unto His likeness and not by our own will, but by submission and thankfulness.  The magnitude of this reality and work in a life is reason itself to just let go of the world and its things, the flesh and its desire, and to seek humility and wisdom in allowing our Father to do as He wills in us and through us. The more that I do not recognize my reflection in the mirror, the more grateful I am for His discipline and it's fruit. I am here to testify that only God's will can wholly change our hearts desire, and it is a process that we must surrender to. Today I am so thankful for His patient loving discipline, and the fruit it bears in the lives of those called according to His purpose.