I don't work on February 23rd. It is my real birthday at least to me. June 3rd 1973 I was physically born. February 23, 2014 I was spiritually reborn. It's not something I asked for, nor did I deserve this day. I have to be transparent and say that every single day I think about this day that happened so many years ago. I do not talk about it a lot. I am not released to do that. Today I am going to. At least a little bit. I feel like it was a thing that was not meant for the world but just for me and it's subsequent outcomes. It was the day that Yeshua, Jesus was revealed to me. I went from a life of religion to a foundation of relationship that day. It is and will absolutely always be the very best day of my life.
I am laying there in a chair in my brother's girlfriend's basement. How I got there is another story worthy of telling. Just not right now. I am so full of sin and denial and being a postcard of being a lost loser. I've got nothing going for me that I can gather. I'm a bum. Worthless. I hated myself that day. I had nothing to offer anyone. I couldn't even feed myself relying on others to care for an able bodied adult. How childish of me.
I suddenly began to feel my heart beating out of control. It was not a feeling I can describe. My major arteries in my inner legs were literally moving and I could feel them under duress. This moved into my under arms. I was certain I was having a heart attack. I was instantly worried about my brother finding me dead. It was my biggest concern as to how he could handle this kind of traumatic thing. I felt at peace. I surrendered to the moment. I went blank.
The next thing I heard was so simple. It was the sound of a voice spoken once but thousands of times in an instant echo like sound. I was falling into these arms that were not just catching me but holding me.
"....Believe in me....". It was Jesus. I instantly recognized in that moment that every time in my life I thought I had heard from God was actually Jesus. I had no idea of His Lordship in my life until that moment. It blew me away. God WAS Jesus. Instant humility was the result.
I began to recite these words over and over again. It was such an absolute surreal experience that to even put this moment into words is such an injustice to the reality of what was so real in that moment. It was like being shown a space between heaven and earth. I really am going to stop trying to describe what cannot be understood. I was then shown in a manner a man cannot even begin to describe paint or picture the moments in my life where He who made me was with me. It was like watching a real movie of my life until that day.
My father had harshly disciplined me for a thing I did not do. I was so upset. I was around 11 when this happened. I went outside and laid by the corn field in our side yard by a dogwood tree and flipped God the bird and said out loud 'Fuck you Jehovah ...' right to His face. I then heard these words so crystal clear. "DENNY I LOVED YOU THEN" I instantly remember thinking that only my family calls me Denny. It was my real Father talking to me in this place. I was overwhelmed. GOD KNEW MY NAME. After that story after story of the weird times in my life I often thought things could have been exponentially worse, He showed me His hand in those moment in my life I had never forgotten and had always recalled. The amount of gratitude and reverence I felt for his Power cannot be explained in this. At my lowest moments....He was the greatest.
I awake from this encounter and straight away cannot get enough of God's Word. I cannot pray or cry or love enough. I still today cannot make exact sense of what happened that day. What it has done was fortify the foundation of a living breathing realest relationship with He who molded my bones. It has made me so aware of sin that I can only daily acknowledge my errors and repent. I still fail. That's what bother me about myself the most. Having been given such a gift one would think that I would be nearly sinless. I strive to be without spot today. I am still growing this never stops. I do not wish it to. I want to be His clay. This life does not belong to me.
There was a faithful and obedient servant named Stacey who had a great hand in me hearing and knowing the real gospel and truth that day. A witness of sorts. I cannot thank her enough for her reaching out to me before this day happened. And afterwards. The Body of Christ is a living breathing thing that is a Spirit driven unstoppable force that will one day encompass all things. We cannot wait for that day.
Today I am thankful. I reflect today on His loyalty and faithful nature that cannot be measured. Yah is a rescuer of souls. A life boat and anchor. I know that He knows me. That knowledge is accompanied with great responsibility. A valued purpose. An immeasurable meaning.
And a thankfulness rooted in humility. Thank you Father for saving me. May my life reflect the knowledge of you and the purpose thereof.
Denny Cooper
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